Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Psych Consult

Mr. A is a 40-year old male. After checking in his items with the clerk, and obtaining a full evaluation from the ER doc, the psychiatrist and students begin the interview.

Mr. A: You have to check me into the psychiatric unit. Otherwise, I'm going to hurt somebody! And I'm going to kill myself!

Student: Mr. A., Which do you plan to do first, hurt someone else or kill yourself? [Yes, I know it's a weird question, but we use it to assess the viability of the plan. Some patients take the bait].

Mr. A: Hurt someone else first!

Student: Who do want to hurt?

Mr. A: Anyone who pisses me off! I was already going to hurt at least 5 people today, before I checked in.

Student: How do you plan to harm someone else?

Mr. A.: I'm gonna stab them with a fork!

[After full assessment]

Physician: Mr. A, we're going to admit you into the psychiatric unit of the hospital... students can you please bring over Mr. A's belongings?

Student: Clerk, can you tell us which one's Mr. A's locker?

Clerk: Yeah, it's over here. But he only brought one item with him. I think it was a fork.